Bathed in the glow of holiday lights, we strolled through Newport News’ Hilton Village and into Peninsula Community Theatre for opening night of “Drinking Habits”.  A simple but effective set sat on stage, evoking the life that you might imagine in a convent.  We were about to find out, however, that nothing about life in this convent is simple.  As it turns out, there is much intrigue and deceit happening in the Order of Perpetual Sewing, and we are so here for the tea.

Our first introduction to the ladies of the convent is to meet Sister Philamena (played by Mindy Schuster) and Sister Augusta (Grace Caterine).  These two nuns are the workhorses of the convent, being master seamstresses, while also having time to make grape juice from the grapes that they grow on site.  And… when those two things don’t bring in enough money to keep the convent afloat… they make a more profitable libation from those same grapes.  This would be more than frowned upon by their leader, Mother Superior (Katy Feldl, a standout from last year’s “Exit Laughing”), who has a real complex about hating alcohol (funny, since, you know, wine is kind of a big part of the Catholic liturgy).  So, Philamena and Augusta are constantly hiding their secret vineyard activities from both Mother Superior and groundskeeper George (Rob Fortner) – but, there seem to be some rumors swirling, as reporters Paul (Lawrence Nichols of PCT’s “Dead Man’s Cell Phone”) and Sally (Grace Obrion) begin snooping around, searching for an underground vino business that has won a $500,000 prize as the best wine in the area but hasn’t come forward to collect.  Meanwhile, Mother Superior and local priest (and recovering amateur magician) Father Chenille (Mark Glickstein) are both worried, as they have heard rumors of spies being sent out by Rome looking for “insignificant” convents to shut down and priests to move, and so, are suspicious of anyone new.  And that is the situation that Sister Mary Catherine (Holly Cunningham) unsuspectingly walks into as the newest member of the Order of Perpetual Sewing.

If that sounds like a lot, you would be right – and we get all of that context in the first 15 minutes of the show!  Believe it or not, hijinks ensue – and this cast does a fantastic job with the hijinks.  Director Carla Mutone does a wonderful job getting the cast to nail the timing of their lines and their entrances and exits through the many doorways, and one human-sized trunk, in this convent.  In typical farce style, each lie builds on the one prior, until you have a whole reality teetering on the brink, ready to collapse if any of the previous lies gets discovered – and it almost all comes crashing down in a hilarious and well-executed Benny Hill-style segment right at the end of the first act.

Some highlights included…

• The interplay between Schuster and Caterine and their chemistry and collective mischievous nature.  Schuster’s character’s inability to lie, and Caterine’s hilarious facial expressions, down-to-clown attitude, and delivery of lines as simple as “confessss” had us guffawing throughout the show.
• Feldl’s stern yet practical Mother Superior was flawlessly executed, and Feldl did a nice job of maintaining her character’s moral impunity while bending the rules to save her convent, one of the few dynamic characters in this show requiring a bit more from the actor, and Feldl was more than up to the task.
• Nichols’ Paul, appropriately filled with nervous energy, stole the scene on multiple occasions, and became central to maintaining the lie as he moved from being a reporter… to being a reporter dressed as a priest… to being a reporter dressed as a priest dressed as a nun.  And all the time, he was lovesick for the career-motivated Sally (Grace Obrion), who pushed the plot along nicely by chasing nothing but her story.

I feel like the mark of a good comedy is when you leave the theatre not just smiling but immediately wanting to reminisce about the best parts – and we were quoting the funniest lines to each other the entire drive home.  But, be aware – you may wake up in the middle of the night with the sudden urge to comply with Sister Augusta’s demand and “confessssss”.